Being Soft With the Hard Parts

Many of us find it easier to be with the parts of ourselves that we like, the aspects that we are comfortable with or what we considered highly skilled. These can be being a good friend, good at our work, parenting etc. But what happens is that we find it hard to befriend or have compassion with those more shadowy parts of ourselves. The parts that brings out our inner critic which can cause a narrative or internal discourse that is more oriented towards self-condemnation or even loathing. 

We can instead reframe our experience and thoughts by allowing ourselves to “friend” these parts. When they appear, we sit with them, allow them to be there and can say that “these are just parts, ones that needs compassion, and not who I am as a whole authentic self”. We hold space for them like a parent does for a child and eventually they become less loud and influential.